What is anxiety and why do we feel it?

If you’re living with anxiety, you’re far from alone. Whether it’s a tight chest, racing thoughts, feeling on edge or panicky or a sense of dread, anxiety can affect anyone, children, teenagers and adults alike. But there are ways to understand it, manage it, and feel better.

Whilst for many, it can at times be utterly overwhelming and often debilitating, anxiety itself is actually a very normal and healthy human response.  It can help drive us to prepare for stressful situations such as exams or job interviews or keep us alert and aware in potentially dangerous situations and is closely linked to our fight/flight response.

When our brains perceive a threat, whether that threat is real or imagined, it triggers our flight or fight response. This is our natural survival mechanism which then prepares the body to respond to that threat. This response automatically releases hormones in our bodies such as adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones cause an increase in blood pressure, heart and breathing rate and blood glucose levels, which prepare the body to respond (ie running away or defending yourself aka fight or flight). It’s these natural responses that cause the physical symptoms we associate with stress and anxiety, such as an increased heart rate, muscle tension, sweating, rapid breathing, a dry mouth and dilated pupils.

When does anxiety start to become a problem?

We will all likely experience anxiety at various different times in our life. However, problems can start to occur when you experience these intense emotions frequently and/or for extended periods of times, or when feelings of anxiety are impacting on your day to day life. These are some of the initial signs that regular anxiety may be developing into something more.

There are a number of different anxiety disorders, including social anxiety, phobias and panic disorders and each have their own distinct symptoms, (see Mind for more information) however Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is the most common. People suffering with GAD often report persistent worries about things that are often hard for them to pinpoint. It could be about situations, relationships or events and could be based around what has already happened or what they fear may happen, now or in the future. Often, it is frequent, overall feeling of worry and it can be hard to articulate to someone else or even to yourself. Some examples of when ‘normal anxiety’ is maybe starting to become something more can include:

• The feelings you are experiencing are strong and/or last a long time
• Your response is out of proportion to the situation
• You are avoiding situations, people or places that you fear might make you anxious
• You feel very distressed, and your worries are hard to control
• You are feeling anxious on a regular basis
• Doing things you enjoy become difficult
• You find it difficult to go about your daily life

Ways to Support Yourself or Someone Else

Living with anxiety can have a huge impact and can affect anyone at any point in their life. However, whilst there isn’t a one size fits all approach to managing anxiety, there are a number of different things you can try to support yourself or someone you care about who is suffering.

Reach out for support – Find someone you can trust and share what is going on for you. This could be a family member, a friend, your GP, a professional counsellor, a peer support group or a support service such as the Samaritans. Many of these can be accessed face to face, online, over the telephone or some even by text. And some services offer 24 hour support. For some, being able to verbalise what is going on for them can, in itself, provide some relief and different perspective. It can also help to know you are not on your own experiencing these thoughts and feelings.

Breathing exercises and meditation – Scientific research shows that breathing exercises can be very effective in calming our fight or flight response and reducing stress hormones. Meditation and mindfulness activities can also help still, soothe or at least distract the mind for some time. You can find lots of free tutorials for these things on the internet. Try searching box breathing, 4-7-8 technique or diaphragmatic breathing as a starting point.

Journalling – Some people write in a notebook, some take notes on their phone, others record voice notes, some write pages, others just a few bullet points or words. Journalling can look different for different people but it works best when it becomes a regular habit so you need to find what format works best for you. You can start by noticing and recording what happens when you hit by anxiety. What was happening around you directly before or when it hit, how did it start, what did it feel like, what were the symptoms, how long did it last. Getting more familiar with it can be beneficial in helping to manage it and sometimes you can start to spot patterns and/or triggers.

Good sleep hygiene – Quality sleep can be easier said than done, especially if you are anxious but having a consistent routine and good sleep habits can really help. Things like having the same bedtime and wake up time every day (even at the weekends!), no screens at least an hour before bed, avoiding caffeine or other stimulants including chocolate and sugar and doing some breathing exercises, gentle yoga or meditation before bed can help. And if you can, I would strongly urge you to try keeping your mobile phone out of the bedroom. It removes all temptation to go on it before bedtime or when you first wake up, both of which can send your cortisol soaring.

Focus on your physical self – Try to get outside in the daylight and even better if you can combine that with a walk, just 10-15 mins can be hugely beneficial. Moving your body in any way that feels good to you is great, although it is worth bearing in mind that high intensity exercise can raise cortisol levels, which if you are feeling very anxious may not be as helpful. So perhaps consider switching things up and doing something gentler instead if your anxiety levels are feeling high. Try eating regular meals at regular times and limit junk food and stimulants such as processed sugar, caffeine and alcohol as much as possible.

Try to cut down/limit time on your phone – A negative side affect of modern life is that, if we choose, we can be constantly in touch with the outside world, be that through messages and emails, social media and constant news feeds. And many of the apps we use on a regular basis are designed to make us stay on them for as long as possible. All of this can mean it can be hard for us to switch off, decompress and recharge our emotional and mental batteries. Try limiting the amount of time you spend on your phone. It can be helpful to turn off notifications on certain apps, switch your phone off completely at certain times throughout the day or keep your phone in a different room or tucked away in a draw or cupboard.

Some additional useful resources

NHS Talking therapies – you can self-refer to this service for support with managing anxiety

Samaritans offer a free, confidential 24/7 helpline at 116 123

Shout provide free support to people by text message. Text SHOUT to 85258 to speak with someone

Anxiety UK and Mind have a number of different resources to help support those struggling with anxiety.

According to the Mental Health Foundation in 2022/23, an average of 37.1% of women and 29.9% of men reported high levels of anxiety.  If you are struggling, please know you are not alone, anxiety is not a sign of weakness, and that help, and support are out there.

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Emma Groves, Integrative Counsellor (MBACP), in collaboration with Sheet Street Surgery, Windsor. May 2025

About the author: Emma Groves (MBACP) is a qualified Integrative Counsellor and registered member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP). Working with adults and teenagers face to face in Windsor and Farnham Common or online, she offers compassionate and confidential support to people navigating a wide range of emotional challenges. For more information, please visit www.evolve-well.co.uk or call 07979 103672